


Being alive

by Deandeanmoose



Series: My Freddy [3]
Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Chilton Lives, Chilton deserves to be happy, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Romantic Fluff, Smut, True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-11
Updated: 2017-06-29
Packaged: 2018-10-24 20:26:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 18,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10749180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deandeanmoose/pseuds/Deandeanmoose
Summary: Picking up three years after a series of firsts, you and Chilton finally start building a good life when old problems return.





	1. The promise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story starts three years after a series of firsts right before the second half of season three. Think of it just a day or two before everything starts with the red dragon.

It has been almost three years since you moved in with Frederick Chilton, and live has been good. He released the book on Hannibal and has been working on yet another book. You talked him into a slight remodel on the house. You are loving the job, and still moving up through the ranks...In almost no time you'll be the head nurse. But most importantly, Hannibal has officially been ruled insane and placed in BSHCI. Everything is working out perfectly for you and Freddy.

Since everything is going so well, you two had started talking about your 'family' and the future. You both decided against marriage because you didn't want to strain the relationship and felt perfectly happy with the trust of being faithful. As for the family...You, Freddy, and Ewen are happy as you are. You two never really discussed kids per say, but with your work schedules it was a safe bet that it was a back burner issue.

* * *

It was a long night in for you, a few reports and some wine as you cuddled with Ewen. Frederick was meeting with his publisher about a new book on this 'tooth fairy'. He told you it would be late and not to wait on him for supper. So as the clock strikes nine pm, a car pulling in steals your attention. Ewen hoped down and ran towards the door, stopping a few feet away so she can walk between Freddy's every step.

The door opened and he smiled as you smiled back, Ewen almost tripping him. He picked her up and stroked her back before leaning down to kiss you where you sat on the couch.

"I hope your evening was fun." He hummed as he sat Ewen down on the back of the couch.

"As fun as I could without you Freddy teddy."

"Well my night was eventful." He grabbed a glass and poured himself a cup before motioning for a toast, "to another best seller."

You both drank then you shook your head, "a little cocky aren't we?  Besides, I thought I was dating a doctor not a author."

"Your dating both in a perfect package." He stole another kiss before Ewen broke it for attention.

"I guess she missed you more... Or at least she thinks she did." You chuckled as he gave a devilish grin, "I mean, how else would I show I missed you like crazy besides kissing and dragging you to the bedroom."

"Hold that thought, I have something to give you first."

"Freddy I don't need a gift, your enough for me."

"I know but, I've been thinking about this for a while. I know we decided not to get married, but I do see meaning in the idea of rings..."

"Oh Freddy you didn't."

Frederick pulled out a small velvet box and opened it carefully, "I had these specially made for us."

"Us? It looks like one ring." You looked closely as his thumb brushed it and it split in the middle.

"Two identical rings made to be held side by side to show a beautiful diamond incrusted pattern. On the inside it reads..." He held them so you could read it.

"Freddy teddy and darling (y/n) = <3" your jaw dropped, "oh Freddy you shouldn't have."

"But I wanted to. And because I know you don't like wearing rings all the time..." He pulled a small gold chain, "I got this so you could make it a necklace Instead."

You smiled and kissed him, pulling back only so he could wipe away a tear. He slid a ring on the chain and put it around your neck.

"Beautiful, and the ring looks good too."

You giggled and wiped another tear before kissing him again. You were at a lost for words, heart racing as you pulled back.

"Do you like it?"

Another kiss and a hand running up his arm.

"Darling I..."

"Stop talking." You smiled against his lips, "I love... I love the ring, Ewen, this house, everything. Now will you please just kiss me senseless." He wasted no time in kissing you again and dragging you to the bedroom.

 That night was the official beginning of their new lives, the one where they are happy and can leave his past behind. Sure he might write books on the man, he may visit Hannibal on occasion still... But if you asked, it would end. He took advice he heard long ago _'sometimes you have to let go of people. Not because you don't care, but because they don't.'_ In other words, he was focused on you. From now on, he didn't need the FBI or any of them... He just needed you. 

But things can't always go so easy, as Frederick starts on this 'tooth fairy' character... Things would go wrong. If only they knew what was coming, maybe they could've stopped it all. They could've stopped everything from falling apart at once.


	2. Good news for a change

You were going about your work, as you usually would on rainy Fridays. But something felt off about today, something just gave a overwhelming ominous feeling...  As your parents use to say, A bad moon rising. From the moment you woke up and kissed Freddy good morning, something was nagging at you and you couldn't figure it out. So you brushed it off and kept going.

Today you had moved Hannibal to a special room since his spot was now permanent. Frederick was having lunch with him much to your disdain. He promised everything would be fine and kissed you before entering even. Didn't stop you from worrying though.... But could it made you feel physically ill? You had went to the restroom to throw up for the sixth time today,  _ **something is off. How can this make me feel physically sick? Yes I would prefer Frederick never see Hannibal ever again but.... Could I really forbid it? Should I? He swore he was moving on... He promised.**_ You finished your little trip and continue working.

* * *

**Frederick**

* * *

Freddy had sat down with Hannibal for a meal, all safety precautions in place. He had sought you out before the meal, caught you in the hallway working and stole a kiss and promised he would meet you after work at your favorite restaurant. Hoping that would be enough to cheer you up after your doubts on the matter.

"Sanguinaccio dolce. A classic Neapolitan dessert, with almond milk." Hannibal spoke as Frederick lifted the spoon for a bite. "Easy on the stomach."

"Sanguinaccio dolce.You have served me this before." Frederick posses in more fact then question.

"One of my favourite desserts.Traditionally made with pig's blood. In this case, a local cow."

Freddy's curiosity won over his common sense as he asked, "And when you last made it for me?"

"The blood was from a cow, only in the derogatory sense."

Freddy suddenly felt sick, contemplating whether to continue this game with Hannibal or simple walk away. The though of having ate human suddenly being pushed back as he tries to keep up his facade with Hannibal.

"Mmm Blood and chocolate. That should have been the subtitle of my book. But I promised myself I would never use colons in my titles. Colons lose their novelty when overused."

"You'll have to write another book." 

"Mm." Freddy finished his spoonfull, "I am. Just not about you."

He finished the meal and went to see Dr. Bloom. He never felt the text message ring in on his phone, nor did he read it till much later. Once he was at the restaurant waiting on you and feeling pathetic, as if you ditched him. 

* * *

**You**

* * *

The sick feeling had passed, but came again later. This wasn't the first day like this, it had happened for the past five days. It started the morning Freddy said he would be dinning with Hannibal at some point during the week. It usually went away throughout the day but today it stuck with you, so you left early to see the doctor. 

You had managed to get a appointment and left a hour early to do so. Frederick was still busy so you never told him. You just sent a simple text to let him know you would miss the date.

> _Not feeling so great. Won't make it to dinner. See you at home teddy._
> 
> _Love your darling_

You hated cancelling on him but you doubt you could hold food down. So you sat at the doctors, watching your phone for a reply.  _ **still nothing? Freddy please check your phone.**_ Your name was called and you went back to see the doctor and ha e a few tests ran, still not getting back reply.

* * *

**Frederick**

* * *

Frederick had been sitting alone in the restraunt for almost ten minutes when he seen a text from you on his phone. He read it and frowned, tipping the waiter that never even served him anything but water before driving home. You weren't home, but he couldn't help worrying more.  _ **Where is she? If she went into the ER I would've been called as next of kin.**_ He decided to send a text or two to check on her... Pacing the floor when Ewen would let him.

> _Are you ok darling? Your not home and I'm just worried._
> 
> _\-  Freddy_
> 
> _Please tell me your ok at least? Are you in the hospital? Did something happen? Darling I love you, please tell me what's wrong._
> 
> _-freddy_

Frederick was sick to his stomach at this point. He hadn't ate, he bare drank... He tried to change his focus, only succeeding and worrying more as Ewen sought his attention.

"Mommy will be fine, she will be ok. It's probably nothing.... Her phone just died... Maybe she lost cell coverage or something stupid like dropping in water." He frowned, "she is fine. She is fine. She is fine."

He sat Ewen down on the back of the couch and kept pacing, picking up his cane and fidgeting with it as he paced... Ewen sitting and watching. A soft mew came here and there as Freddy talked.

"I'm over reacting... It's nothing. Then why didn't she tell me?" 

 Ewen yawned and stretched.

"I'm being silly am I not? She has to be fine.... I'm just....." His posture dropped, "where is she?"

He missed the door opening, the shoe being kicked off, and Ewen purring as she ran over to you walking in the door. You picked her up and looked up at a still pacing frederick.

"Honey I'm home." You smiled and he froze before whipping around to look at you.

"Where have you been? What happened?" He looked worried and you felt bad.

"I went to see the doctor, with the throwing up and everything the past few days I wanted it checked out." You walked over and hugged him, "are you ok?"

"Of course, I was just worried sick. What did the doctor say?"

"In a moment, Freddy you know if anything happened that you would know. Remember that long visit to your lawyer and all the paperwork we went through so we could have most the benefits or marriage without being married.... If anything went wrong, you would be my first call." You hugged him as he seemed to cool down.

"I know, I just worry." He squeezed you tight as you kissed his cheek.

"I know you do, it's not a bad thing though." You smiled and motioned him to sit down, "I have news."

He sat down looking at you sitting across from him, you took his hands and looked at him closely.  _ **What's wrong? What did they find? Why is she making me sit for it? It must be bad news.... It's always bad news. Everytime a doctor is involved it's bad. Please don't be dying, god I couldn't stand it.**_ He was getting more nervous by the second as you squeezed his hand and kissed his cheek.

"So I went to the doctor and they ran some tests. I have all the results in this envelope" you pulled it out of your bag, "and the only one you need to see is in here."

You handed him a small envelope and watched as he opened it. A small white thermometer fell out, he flipped it over and seen it's screen didn't have numbers but one thick blue line. His lips parted to ask what it was when it hit him. _**it's not a thermometer... It is a pregnancy test.**_ His jaw dropped and he couldn't explain this emotion if he tried, so many feelings rolled into one. He felt you squeeze his hand, but his eyes were glued to the small stick in his hand.

"You're.... you're... I... I'm..." His lips twitched and his mind went blank.... You succeeded in making the great Frederick Chilton speechless.

"Freddy teddy, We're having a baby Chilton." You watched for any sign of his reaction to the news, still nothing on his face or in his mind.

It felt like hours but was a mere five minutes later when he looked up finally, "we're having a baby."

* * *

**You**

* * *

Freddy pulled you into a hug, kissing you before squeezing you closer. His heart was racing in his chest, your hand feeling every beat as it slowly pushed him back. He pulled your hand up and kissed it before smiling bigger then you ever seen before... His mouth piece was looked as if it would fall out, the stretch on the face almost painful.

"Are you good with this Freddy?" You smiled as you rested a hand on his face, "are you good with being a dad?"

He nodded and held your hand to his face, "as long as the baby is from you, I'll always be fine."

"This is a huge step."

"So we'll take it together. Darling, I love you." He pulled you back in close.

"I love you too freddy." You giggled as Ewen wiggled inbetween your two's bodies, causing you both to look down, "and you pur baby."

She started purring and rubbing against your stomach as freddy stroked her chin, "I guess our family is growing."

"Freddy are you sure your ok with this?" You made him look up, "we discussed kids and this wasn't the result of that talk."

"Ewen could use a brother or sister... And I personally couldn't be happier right now. Maybe we needed this, after all I went through... Maybe I need this. A gift to forget." He ran a hand behind your shoulders and up to rest on your neck, "maybe you came first and it'll be second... My chances at a better life."

You had started tearing up as he slowly rubbed your neck, running his hands to the tense spot between your shoulder blades. He rubbed his thumb in and smiled as your head dropped.

"Maybe I really do get to live happy." He whispered in your ear before you kissed him.

"Oh Freddy, I hope so."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> #ChiltonDeservesToBeHappy


	3. A little blood but mostly chocolate

After you told Freddy about the baby, everything seemed to go perfect. Niether of you wanted to tell anyone, Freddy was constantly by your side to help with everything... And he took a distance approach to writing. He study the tooth fairy from articles and evidence he received from the FBI, and as he promised... He stayed away from Hannibal. After he published his most recent book about him, he did keep a distance. He heard Hannibal was going to refute his book but he brushed it off and assumed Hannibal wouldn't be stupid enough to put his head on the chopping block.

Freddy became even sweeter with you. Sometimes at work it was hard to explain, especially since you both promised to keep the baby secret. You figured you could hide it till you found out gender, if you wore the right clothes, and if Frederick could keep the secret. But after the doctors results, you did find you were about 12 weeks along. The weight you had gained wasn't much and most the usual symptoms seemed to be almost none existent.... Except for cravings.

On this day, you were craving chocolate like crazy. You had some at lunch, a little on the way home, and Frederick had cooked a beautiful dinner for you that included steak for you. You didn't stop eating meat, you had just cut your intake to a small amount. Maybe a hamburger today, some chicken the day after next... But not really that much at home. It was mostly when you two went out or on your lunch breaks. So coming home to the smell of steak in the kitchen was amazing.

You tipped your head around the corner, to see Frederick's back with a hand towel over his shoulder. He had out one of the older cast iron skillets you insisted on keeping for a reason like this and next pan over that he was currently blocking, was veggies. One sauce pan towards the back you couldn't see but caught a glimpse of yellow liquid hitting the stove top and you almost died.  _ **He is making my favorite meal.**_ You only mentioned it once, when you had started telling him about your sister. Your favorite meal growing up, a medium well steak, Mac n cheese extra creamy and cheesy, and garlic seasoned green beans. 

You were so giddy, you couldn't help it. With your arms slidding in place around his waist, you kissed his shoulder and rocked a little. Freddy chuckled, and kissed your forehead when he stretched back a little. 

"It was suppose to be a surprise." He chuckled as you leaned in to sniff.

"It smells delicious."

"I can cook a steak for you and I'll stick with the mac n cheese and green beans." He brushed a stray hair, "anything that the baby might want?"

"Chocolate."

"Your in luck, I bought some of that too." He smirked and kissed your cheek.

"I love you Freddy teddy."

"I love you darling." He nudge you back, "now go. Let me work."

"Bossy chitly," you rolled your eyes and kissed his cheek, "fine. I'll just love on Ewen then."

You picked up the pur baby and walked out. Dropping on the couch with a small bounce as she purred louder. You never even realized how long you had been petting her until Freddy walked in and stole your hand.

"Dinner is served. You too Ewen."

 He helped you into the dinning room and took Ewen to her section of counter that had he fresh fish waiting for her. He walked back and sat beside you, his plate was smaller but he encouraged you to eat yours. The steak was cooked beautifully.... A little chard and a few hard spots but delicious. Everything else was good, the Mac n cheese was great but the green beans were a little under done for your liking. He made a face when he tasted it and realized it too. 

"Delicious Freddy."

"Thanks darling... But I should have just ordered out." He frowned and started poking his food.

"You did good." You smirked, "the baby loves it."

He smiled at that, "I love you darling."

"Love you more Freddy." You took his hand and gave a soft squeeze. 

You both ate and chatted about their days. Frederick was talking about a phone call he got from the publisher when his hand knocked over his glass. The glass shattered on the floor and he quickly went to clean it up. You tried to help but he insisted he didn't want you to accidentally get cut... Then he yelped. His forearm was sliced by a piece of glass when he was trying to motion you to stay still. You got up and pulled him to the bathroom, quickly getting a first aid kit and patching him up. He looked liked a kicked puppy, one thing Frederick couldn't stand was embarrassment and looking like a fool. You kissed his cheek as you finished with the bandage.

"Better?"

"Not really." He looked down.

 "Your ego or your wound." You smirked and he gave a soft chuckle.

"Ego... I've had worse wounds."

"I know," you kissed each of his face wounds and stroked his stomach softly, "your ok Freddy."

"I know." He gave a small smile, "now that you saved me, shall we finish our meal before dessert."

You giggled as he motioned you back to the dinning room where he let you help pick up the shards of glass. After disposing of the glass, you finished the meal and smiled as Frederick went to get the dessert. He had you move up to the bedroom, only making you wonder how much dessert there was. You hummed and tried to guess what he got.  _ **Lava cake? Ice cream.... Fudge. Cake? .... Maybe brownies or he might have went fancier.**_ you barely heard him approach and sit down the small plate on the bed beside you. You immediately kissed him as your favorite chocolate covered cake bites sat beside you. A assortment of different flavors making your mouth water.  _ **These are almost 20 dollars for ten bites.... There must be third or so on this plate.**_

"Oh Freddy, you shouldn't have."

"But I did. I was hoping to share them with you tonight." He gave a devilish grin, "maybe make a little game out of it?"

"What did you have in mind?"

"To start," he ran a hand up your dress, "one for each article of clothing you take off. Then we can get to the fun stuff."

"Like what?"

"You can have dessert and eat me too." He smiled at your blush and quick retort of 'there's that ego.'

He lifted a bite to your lips, "now start with that dress."

You pulled the dress off and took the bite. He smiled as you tugged off his shirt and sweats, handing him a bite with your lips. Things escalated quickly, Soon you were both nude and the usual fun started. He kissed your belly as he slipped two fingers in, double checking you were ready for him before he lined up. You kissed him bruisingly as he slowly pushed in. His hips slowly rolling as your head fell back.

* * *

**Frederick**

* * *

_**how does she always look so beautiful like this?**_ you shiver as he goes a little further in on each thrust. His eyes were glued to your lips as you gasped his name.  _ **so beautiful... What did I do to deserve your beauty?**_

"Freddy... Please don't stop." Your eyes glued to his as he finally noticed he had stopped when he was watching you.

"My apologies." He whispered against your skin and reset the crawling pace that had your head spinning.

He bit down lightly on your collar bone, the contrast from his gentle hips sending bumps down your skin. He took his thumb and soothed your right breast as he pushed up. You whimpered at the Lost of skin contact, his lips curled up as his hand slid down your belly. 

"I don't deserve you." 

He gave a hard thrust without speeding up.

"I don't deserve this baby."

His hand smoothed your tummy as your hand slowly covered his.

"I don't deserve this family... Any of it."

You just rolled your eyes and arched your back up, "god Freddy."

 _ **why does she love me? How did I get this lucky?..... Why couldn't I have met her before everything happened?**_ He leaned down to kiss you as his hips angled up. Your hands dropped down to grab the sheets in a white knuckle hold, your mouth wide open.

"Yes, yes, yes... Right there. Right Freddy........ God I'm so close." You panted as he slowly sped up to bring himself closer to release.

"I love you (y/n), I love you so much darling." 

Your eyes fluttered shut as he pushed you over into bliss. He watched your body spasm softly and heard the holy moan that left your lips. He lasted a fraction of a second under you restricting muscles, before he let it out. He waited till your body stopped moving, slowly retracting and falling beside you. He rolled over and dragged you to his side ever so carefully as you tried to catch your breath. He kissed your nose and rubbed your back.

"I love you darling."

"I love you Freddy," you stroked his bandaged arm, "so please stop getting injured so we can have a long time together."

He chuckled, "I promise.... I'm not going anywhere."

You kissed him softly and tucked into his chest for sleep.  _ **I'm not going anywhere. I can promise you that, I'm not leaving either of you behind.**_


	4. Doctor appointments and a fight

Frederick was stubborn, you knew that but sometimes it was a lot. When he wouldn't budge and a fight occurred, it would get on your last nerve and he would end it quickly. You love Frederick..... But God could he test your patience.

Today was one of those days, you had a doctor's appointment at noon. You told him two days ago, yesterday, and this morning as well as written a reminder slipped in his work book. So when you went upstairs, went to his office and found him working. You watched him a second before he looked up.

"Yes?"

"Your not ready." You pouted.

"For what?" He bit his pen as if thinking when you obviously can tell he lost his brain with his other injuries Hannibal caused because you told him way to many times about this for him to forget.

"God Freddy, don't you remember anything?" 

He raised a brow in question, then his face went pale as it clicked, "the appointment. Yes Uhmmm...  I just need to push a appointment back and...."

"Push a appointment back? You scheduled someone after I told you thousands of times about this appointment." You were clearly pissed.

"Let me have it pushed back and...."

You cut him off, "don't worry about it. I'll go alone."

His face dropped as he tried to remedy the situation when you tossed your bag over your shoulder, "bye Freddy, see you later."

"(Y/n) wait don..." You stepped out as he finished, "...n't go....... God your a idiot Frederick." 

* * *

**Frederick**

* * *

Frederick tossed his pen at the wall and spun his chair.  _ **stupid, stupid, stupid.... She told you several times including this morning and you forget to reschedule the appointment let alone forgot her appointment! Your going to have to really work your way out of this.**_ He went back to work, trying to avoid the self-hatred and focus on something productive. He flipped through a few pages before he whined, he needed his pen. He got up and walked over to it and picked it up, walking back and knocking over his cane as he sat. He kicked the desk and winced in pain at his stupidity.  _ **Why? Why are you like this Frederick?**_

* * *

**You**

* * *

You arrive at the doctors office and check in alone. After a few minutes a nurse calls you up.

"I'm sorry miss, the doctor had a emergency and can't make it. Can we reschedule you for tomorrow?" She smiled apologeticly.

"It'd have to be late, say five-thirty or six?"

"I'll set that up at six. I'm so sorry for this inconvenience." 

You shrugged it off and went back to work, deciding Freddy didn't need to know until tonight. You finished your last few things and found a package for Hannibal in the stack.  _ **I really need to talk to the mail boy... This is the sixth time he forgot to deliver part of the mail.**_ You took a deep breath and walked down to Hannibal's room. You entered carefully and put the package through the slot.

"Good day Mr. Lector."

"Good day to you too Ms.(l/n)." He smiled, "how is Frederick?"

"Busy, now if you will so kindly," You motioned to the package "I can finish my work." he opened it.

Nothing hazardous or inappropriate, so you turned to leave, "Ms. (L/n)?"

"Yes." You turned around at the door.

"Maybe you would prefer a treat instead of Frederick. He stood me up for lunch." He smirked as you turned and left.

 _ **He had a lunch date appointment with Hannibal and didn't show after I snapped at him? No don't forgive him yet, make him ask for it girl.**_ You finished your work and went home, noticing his car was still there. You just went home and cuddled with Ewen and watched TV. A thousand thoughts racing through your mind, not one making you feel better. You wanted Freddy there to cuddle up with, to kiss his dropping lips and laugh with. You wanted your Freddy teddy, even if he was being a ass as of now.

* * *

**Frederick**

* * *

Frederick had hit his boiling point for the day. After your snapping at him for forgetting, not feeling hungry all day, the sudden clumsiness... He had just finished Hannibal's article and he was furious. After everything he did to spare Hannibal lector from a death sentence, Hannibal threw him under the bus. He was too angry to process, he marched down to the cell and immediately confronted him.

"Since your commitment, you have written some brilliant articles for The Northern Medical Journal of Psychiatric." Freddy started.

"Thank you, Frederick."

"I just finished your most recent piece. Extraordinary stuff."

"A particularly good one."

"It may be my favorite. I have seen a lot of hostility. But this was quantifiably bitchy." Frederick spat, "Do you think I am your nemesis?"

"No. Nemesis? No."

"You refuted my entire book." Frederick emphasized.

"It didn't hold up to scrutiny."

"Of course it didn't. I was lying! On your behalf! To save your life!" Frederick looked amazed, "You refuted your insanity defense. I went out on a limb for you and you climbed up there and sawed it off!"

"Wood burns because it has the proper stuff in it; and a man becomes famous because he has the proper stuff in him." Hannibal gave a small smile, "You don't have the proper stuff, Frederick."

"I am a best-selling author. The journals only still publish your writing for the freak value of your byline." He rolled up the magazine and pushed it through one of the small wholes in the glass before He took a breath to calm Down just a little, "The attention given to you is dwindling since you have been overshadowed by another creature." He leaned in to the same whole and finished his words, "That book is writing itself. I think I'll call it The Dragon Slayer. All I need is the ending."

"Fate has a habit of not letting us choose our own endings, Frederick." Frederick straightened up himself as Hannibal spoke.

"This is the ending fate has chosen for you. Your teeth will go and your strength. Nobody will be afraid of you anymore. You will be out in the ward.The young ones will push you around and use you for sex. All you'll get to read is what you write on the wall." Frederick makes a pity face as he finished, "You have seen the old ones.They cry when they do not like the stewed apricots."

He turned to leave stopping by his briefcase, "Oh, I'm just going to leave an extra copy..." He pulled it out and held it up before sitting it on the table, "...of my book right over here."

"Thank you, Frederick." Hannibal smiled ever so slightly.

"I've personalized it for you." Frederick was out the door when he came face to face with Alana bloom, "Are you here to remonstrate me with "I told you so"s?"

"That's not why I'm here." She sighed and motioned to walk, "I'm here because we need your help."

"Really?" He sound very skeptical.

"We need to draw out the dragon. Will will do a interview with Freddy lounds in tattle crimes bashing the dragon." 

"That feels like a trap."

"That's why we need a professional to give off his theories. Will will aggravate the theory to draw him out to attack him... The FBI catches the dragon." She looks over as Frederick nods.

"Why I and not you?"

"Because your a best selling author. You have name value that will gain more attention." She stopped, "he has a obsession with Hannibal and you wrote the book on him... Literally."

"True," he smirked with a smugness that was purely him, "when and where?"

"Tomorrow... Say five-thirty?" She turned towards Frederick, "the FBI will give you a security detail until the next day just in case anything happens."

"Ok, where is this little interview taking place?"

"Will's secret hideaway. Jack will give you the address tomorrow." She stopped, "do we have a deal?"

"Deal," he shook her hand, "have a good evening Dr. Bloom."

"Enjoy your night Dr. Chilton."

Frederick watched her walk on as he stepped in his office and grabbed a few things. He left and stopped on the way home to buy a dozen roses and some chocolates, hoping this would show enough of a apology to make you forgive him. He arrived home only a short time later and took a deep breath before walking to the door cane under his arm so the flowers and chocolates were on full display. He pressed the door bell and waited a minute as you opened the door. 

"I'm sorry darling, I'm a fool for forgetting the appointment." He gave his best pout, "please forgive me?"

"Yes... If you come tomorrow without forgetting." You took the roses and smelled them, "but only if you go."

"I will. I promise darling." Freddy smiled and followed her in to the living room and sat with you, "of course I will. When tomorrow?"

"Six." You kissed his cheek before you realized he was a little frozen, "what is it?"

"I have a appointment at five-thirty." He looked down, "I can't move it."

"Excuse me? Freddy this isn't just any appointment, this is to check on your baby. The first ultrasound and you will hear the heartbeat.... You have to go." You pulled back.

"I'll be there, I promise.... I'll rush it and make sure I get there." He reached and you scooted back, "darling I promise."

"What is this appointment anyways?

"It's nothing important, I'll be there for you." He laid his hand over yours and you tugged it.

"Freddy, don't lie to me." You whispered and he caved.

"I'm doing a interview with will graham to help pull the red dragon out of hiding so they can catch him." He felt your hand pull away as you stood up.

"No Freddy...  You can't. You promised you would distance yourself and you have so very little. You still dine with Hannibal and help the FBI after everything it has costed you.... I'm not going to put my child near this! I'm not risking it's life so you can keep those people close and risk your life!" You walked away just a little, "Hannibal might be in jail, but things happen and if you got hurt again.... I can't raise the baby on my own."

"Darling it won't. I promise." He stood up and walked to put his arms around you but you pushed him away with tears starting.

"You can't be for sure... With your luck. I can't.... I just can't. I'm going to bed." Your started up the steps as he went to follow and you stopped him, "sleep on the couch... I'll see you at the appointment tomorrow."

* * *

**You**

* * *

You walked to the bedroom and stripped down. You stood by the mirror naked and looked at your minute bump, sighing before tossing on the short night gown and panties. The bed looked so big, you hated getting tucked in without him. Sadly you had gotten use to having someone beside you, to cuddle up with and steal their warmth..... You almost wanted to call Freddy up but you needed to make a point. Family first.

As you laid curled in the bed, you let the tears fall. Soft whimpers escaped as you slowly  but shortly fell asleep.

* * *

**Frederick**

* * *

Freddy watched you climb the steps and disappear from sight. He looked back to the roses on the table, his own eyes threatening to tear up. He grabbed the roses and went to the kitchen, digging through the cupboards and cabinets till he found what he was looking for...The old glass vase you insisted on keeping.

You once told him how you and your sister made it for your grandparents, which came back to you after their death and your sisters. It had several chips, little cracks that had been sealed back up, a old tattered blue ribbon that was hanging on by a thread... He wiped off the dust and rinsed it out. 

He filled the vase with water and put the roses in it. Next he took the chocolates and opened the box just so you could get it open easier Tomorrow morning. Then, he pulled a small piece of paper from the library and wrote you a small note. He folded it over and tucked it on top of the chocolates as he carried it all up stairs to the bedroom. As quietly as possible, he sat the vase down on the end table by where you slept, chocolates beside the vase with the note on top.  _ **It will be the first thing she sees in the morning.**_ He kissed your forehead softly.

"Goodnight darling." He brushed a little hair from your face, "sweet dreams."

Frederick retreated to the couch down in the living room, he sighed and pulled a blanket over him.  _ **Everything will be ok, everything will be fine... She'd be heartless not to forgive you after that note.**_ He yawned and drifted to bed, his phone to wake him up early so he would be gone before you wake. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am hoping to drop a second chapter tonight because I am just feeling like Freddy today. Finger crossed!


	5. Bad decisions

The morning comes all to soon, you stretch and roll over to find a beautiful sight. The roses Freddy brought you yesterday, they were in your favorite vase and the chocolates were beside them. On top, was a paper with your name on it. You frowned at the realization that you made your point... Kicking him to the couch wasn't needed. You reached for the note, flipping it open you bit your lip. Tears forming as you read.

> _To my dearest darling,_
> 
> _I'm sorry for everything I have done wrong, forgetting the appointment especially. This baby is my number one priority, our family is everything to me. I'm sorry you had to yell and cry for me to see just how careless I have been lately. I am done with that part of my life after today._
> 
> _I know you might disagree with this, but I feel like I must help. But after this interview, the only criminal work I do is my books and the prisoners in the hospital... No more FBI. No more Hannibal. That is my promise to you._
> 
> _I hope you forgive me for my irresponsible and asinine decisions that directly effected our lives. My only wish is for the four of us (Ewen included) can be happy. I do so hoped you loved those roses, because Everytime I see them I think of your beauty and how you truly are the best thing to happen to me. How I was but a shell of a man before I met you. Forgive me this weakness, it will soon be gone... Because nothing matters without you._
> 
> _With all my love,_
> 
> _Freddy Teddy_
> 
> _P.S. See you at the appointment, I would never miss it. XOXO_

Tears stained the paper, small smears in the dry ink as it asorbs small droplets. You shook the paper lightly before laying it to dry on a dresser of by the closet. Your hand pulling a rose and holding it close to your chest as you tried to steady your whimpers.  _ **Oh Freddy... I'm so sorry. So so sorry.... Oh dear god, I need you now.**_ You ran down. The steps still in you PJs, taking every other step as you practically flew down to the living room. The room was empty, a blanket neatly folded over the back of the couch and the coffee table straightened. You pushed to the kitchen and see a washed plate, mug, and silverware sitting by the sink.

You frowned and decided to get dressed for work and stop at the vegan bakery Freddy loved. You picked up his favorite and went to work, stopping at his office first thing. You walked right in to see him, he looked up as you sat the stuffed cookie on his desk.

"I love you... Now hug me you romantic jerk."

He stood and walked around to hug you tight, a kiss to your forehead, "I take it you read the note."

"I'm sorry Freddy."

"Don't be, it's on me." He kissed you then let you go so he could see you, "are you mad about the interview?"

"Won't do any good to argue about it.... As long as your at the appointment, I live with it." He brushed your bangs back.

"Thank you... I promise we'll be ok." 

"I know. Have a good day Freddy." You started towards the door as he called back, "see you at six darling."

* * *

**Frederick**

* * *

Time was flying today, after hearing you say everything was good again. Frederick was rushing through paperwork like it was nothing, made notes for the new book, and even called his publisher to secure a second book about Hannibal... Blood and chocolate. He barely realized the time and was surprised when two FBI agents we're there to take him away for the interview. He was on the way out when he saw you in the hall he motioned them to wait as he walked up to you.

"Dr. (L/n)."

"I'm not a doctor Freddy." You smirked, "off to the interview?"

"Yes darling," he kissed your cheek, "see you at six."

"Six Freddy." You kissed him briefly before he walked out with a smile.

* * *

Frederick walked into the room, jack crawford and will graham were waiting with Freddy lounds sitting in a chair ready to start. He felt off just being there, a bad feeling in his gut as he listened to the talk in the room.

"So, Dr. Chilton you just lay out your theories. Will will aggravate them for the record." Jack said.

"You're making statements no investigator would ever make and no straight newspaper would credit." Lounds started with as Frederick slowly picked a place to sit, will paced by the window and Jack stood to the side.

"You're not a straight newspaper.You sell T-shirts that say, 'The Tooth Fairy is a One-Night Stand." Will retorted.

"I can get you one, if you like. You a small or a medium? Small, I bet.They aren't selling so well since you started calling him 'The Dragon." She quipped back.

"The killer's objection to the name "The Tooth Fairy" is likely grounded in the homosexual implication of the word "fairy." Tedious, I know, but if you really want to piss him off, that's what you should call him." Freddy introjected to hopefully speed this along,  _ **I have somewhere to be... Please let this go quick.**_

"Very well. Tooth Fairy it is." Jack nods and motions for it to start.

Freddy sat down finally and showed his normal cocky nature "The Tooth Fairy's actions indicate a projective delusion compensating for intolerable feelings of inadequacy. Smashing mirrors ties these feelings to his appearance."

"And not only is the Tooth Fairy insane, he is ugly and impotent." Will adds.

Freddy's face twists a little as he realizes where this is going in the form of aggravating his words, "There's a strong bonding of aggressive and sexual drives that occurs in sadists at an early age."

"He's a vicious, perverted, sexual failure. An animal." Will paced behind Frederick.

Freddy gave a questioning look to will now off to his side, this was getting harder by the second.

"The savage acts aimed primarily at the women and performed in the presence of families are clearly strikes at a maternal figure."

"The Tooth Fairy is the product of an incestuous home." Will slips in again causing Freddy to pause.

_**(y/n) was right... I should've said no.** _

"This is the child of a nightmare." Freddy spoke with a slight apprehension, causing will to look over to him curiously 

"Will I think we need a key shot of you here in your 'Washington hideaway." Jack inputs as lounds jumped in, "I'd love something of you in a bathrobe sitting at a desk, poring over this artist's conception of the Fairy."

She held up a sketch of the fairy, a small smile as will denied it.

"l'll stand by the window." Will started towards the window, "And make sure you can see the fountain and the Capitol dome.The Red Dragon needs to be able to find this place, if he wants to."

Will turned slightly to where Freddy had just stood up, "Frederick would you like to be in the photograph?"

"One for the dust jacket." Freddy smirked and walked over slowly, his mind telling him to walk the other way.

He walked over beside will, a perfect view out the window as was given. Jack positioned the shot and as they were about to take the photo, will put his hand on Freddy's shoulder. He fought the urge to withdraw, _ **What is this feeling and why is it presenting itself now?**_ His gut curled up and twisted as he gave his best smile,  _ **Something doesn't feel right.**_

* * *

Frederick was rushing to the SUV with the security detail in tow. He had stopped at the publisher building to drop a few papers at the front desk with the few spare minutes he had. His phone ringing as he left, heading right to the SUV as he answered. He gave his usual snark and gave a short phone interview as he entered the suv. He was mid sentence when that feeling hit again, then he felt a hand and his senses went out... He was out cold.

* * *

**You**

* * *

You were at the doctors office, a soft pacing as you looked at the time.  _ **6pm.... Where are you Freddy? You promised.**_ The door opened and you were called back, you swallowed back a soft tear.  _ **You promised.**_

You went back and went through all the information, the ultrasound and then the moment you wanted... The heartbeat. You felt happy, with a small amount of anger and worry. You left to go home, arriving in no time to a empty house.  _ **Where is he? Why isn't he here? What if something..... Oh god Freddy where are you?**_ You checked the whole house before stopping by the phone, dialing his number a few times, no answer. You go into the contacts on your phone, pulling up the contact and praying for a answer. You hear the other line connect then you started in.

"Jack Crawford, where the hell is frederick? He's not home. he's not answering my calls.... No one has seen him since your little interview." You growled.

"You might want to sit down..."

"Jack."

"The security detail is dead and it looks like he was kidnapped."


	6. Missing

_**Missing.... Frederick is missing. My Freddy is missing.**_ You sat on the couch petrified, tears running down your face. Your breathing labored and broken as you tried to remain calm.... To no prevail.  _ **Missing, Freddy is missing.**_

Time was at a slow trickle, seconds taking forever to pass.  _ **Why is everything so normal? Why is everything fine while my world crumbles?**_ You felt hopeless and you were only told minutes ago. So everything hits at once, you tree a pillow as you cried and kicked the coffee table. 

"Why! Why him? Why can't we just be happy?!" You shouted into the empty house.

You ran upstairs needing comfort,  _ **Missing doesn't mean dead. You have a chance yet. Calm down this isn't good for the baby.**_ You pulled his favorite pjs from the closet were he laid them yesterday morning before the fighting. You Inhaled his scent and squeezed them to you.  _ **please Freddy, please be ok. I can't do this alone! Please God don't let me do this alone.**_ You cried, and cried, and cried....until you fell asleep dehydrated to your dreams.

** Dreaming **

You wake up In the bed, Freddy smiling beside you as a little girl jumped on his back. 

"Wake up mommy!"

"Yeah wake up darling, it's a beautiful day outside." He tugged you up, "I think we should go to the park."

"Pleaaaaaaaaaaseeeeeeeeeee!" The girl bounced as you laughed.

She took off running as Freddy pulled you up, "come on sleepy head, let go before she runs there without us."

You blinked as you were changing jammies and woke up to a much different scene. You were still pregnant, pretty far along judging by your bellu. You rolled out of bed and frowned, looking around for Freddy. You walk down stairs and towards the kitchen but Instead of your kitchen, it was a hospital room with your freddy. He was in a coma but alive barely. 

"I'm here Freddy, we are waiting for you."

You took his hand and sat there for what felt like days before you blinked and the scene switched again. You see a little boy running around the back yard as you watched from the patio door. Before you could move a inch to call for him, a pair of arms wrapped barely around your stomach and his lips kissed your ear. He yelled for the boy to come wash up for dinner.

"I swear, this one needs to be a girl so we don't end up like our patients.... Insane." He smiled at your laugh.

You felt a hard kick as he rubbed that spot, whispering sweet thoughts so you didn't feel as much pain. You smiled as he turned you around and sat you down, but then you blinked and the scene changed. You were over a bleeding Freddy in your bed. His side was cut opened and he was missing a lung and half his kidney, he was fading out as you begged him to stay awake. He frowned and told you it was ok.... He was better off. His eyes shut as the paramedics rushed in in slow motion.

You closed your eyes and whispered, "it's all a dream. It's all a dream." 

Your eyes opened to see Freddy holding a baby girl in his arms. He was bouncing her and singing to her, kissing her face Everytime she giggled. You walked over and he turned towards you and held her tight.

"Say hi mommy."

The baby squealed and accidentally hit his bad eye, he pulled back as you broke down in giggles. 

"Or beat up daddy." He kissed her cheek as she giggled and slapped her hands together.

"I don't think daddy could get anymore injured," you kissed her forehead and then his lips, "but let's not test it."

"Love you darling."

"Love you Freddy teddy... But if you want a happy baby you should sing better songs." You smirked and took her little hands and swung them softly.

> ' _Baby let me be,_  
>  Your lovin teddy bear  
> Put a chain around my neck,  
> And lead me anywhere  
> Oh let me be  
> Your teddy bear.  
>   
> I don't wanna be a tiger  
> Cause tigers play too rough  
> I don't wanna be a lion  
> Cause lions aint the kind  
> You love enough.  
> Just wanna be, your teddy bear  
> Put a chain around my neck  
> And lead me anywhere  
> Oh let me be  
> Your teddy bear.'

He rolled his eyes and kissed your cheek, "just let me be your Freddy teddy."

You started to laugh and closed your eyes.Opening your eyes, you were back in your room, the clock reading four-thirty am. You rolled over and rubbed your belly,  _ **please Freddy. Please don't let me do it alone. I can't.**_

* * *

At five, you gave up and went to the kitchen. Ewen Hopped on the counter and walked over to you.

"Hey baby, you missing daddy too?"

She purred and rubbed your hand resting against the counter. 

"You must be hungry, I doubt I fed you last night."

You sniffled and wiped a tear as you walked to the fridge and pulled out the salmon she loved. You flake it in her bowl like Freddy does and sit it down for her. She eats slowly, you watch as she seemed hesitant to do so.

"Is something wrong Ewen?" Then it hit you, "the flakes are too big." 

You cried and sat on the kitchen floor against the counter, your hands holding your face as tears fell like rain.  _ **I need Freddy. Please God let me have my Freddy. I can't raise a child on my own. I can't do this alone.... Please.**_ You didn't realize it, but you were tired enough to pass out. 

The sun was rising and you slowly stood up after moving Ewen from your lap. You walked upstairs as your phone rang, answering it slowly.

"Hello?"

"We had a video delivered this morning to Hannibal. Chilton was in it."

"Good for you jack," you groaned before the words came out, "I want to see it."

"That's not a good idea."

"I didn't ask if it was.... I want to see it jack."

The line went silent then he sighed, "I'll send you the video."

He hung up as you watched a email arrive. Attached was a video and against your best judgement you watched. You listened to your sweet man repeat the words and then horror... The man ripped off Freddy's lips. You threw your phone and fell onto the bed. _**What kind of monster is this? Why is it happening to Freddy.... Why him?**_

* * *

Hours later you calmed down, wiping away your tears you tried to find something to do since you didn't work today. But it was mere minutes later that the second call came, they found him. Jack warned you it was bad but you still insisted on going to the hospital. Standing in the waiting room, a hurricane of emotions hit.  _ **please be ok.**_


	7. Shock

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ************Warning************  
> Description of Freddy post attack.

Shock is one of the worst feelings in the world, and the only thing you felt as your eyes landed on Frederick's burn body, lips ripped off. Your beautiful man wasn't just a shell of himself, he was a chard and brutalised shell. You felt week in the knees, your mouth went dry, and your mind racing.  _ **Oh Freddy.... What happened to you?**_

You walked to the edge of the bath he was in, slowly reaching down to touch his hand. When he didn't pull away, you took it. His eyes flickered and slowly looked to you as you looked beyond scared. He was waiting for you to run, you could tell by the way he held loosely and stared.... His eyes giving him away every time.

You looked him over, his hair was gone and whole head in layers of black and cooled blood. Only small parts of normal skin showing, mostly in small specs. Where his once gorgeous lips were, the ones that so gently kissed you, were now missing. His teeth fully exposed, your eye drawing to the upper prostatic that he normally removed... It still sat in his mouth to your surprise. His dead eye open wide, his good eye struggling to look up at you. His once pronounced bullet wound you loved, now unnoticeable under his charred skin. His upper chest was peppered in third degree burns and the small blood spots. His right shoulder black and left shoulder looking almost normal except the deep pink burns on it. As you glanced down his chest and stomach, small second degree burns with small spots of third degree burns leading down.... His legs a little black but not as bad as his upper half. 

"Oh Freddy..." You sniffled, "what happened?"

"You shouldn't see re like this." He tried to speak, "you should never seen re like this."

"Freddy your still beautiful, you always have been." You squeezed his hand.

"This isn't good for the aye." He looked like he was about to cry.

"The baby is fine Freddy, I'm good.... Don't worry about us." You held back tears, "just get better." 

You were escorted out to the waiting room for the moment, giving you time to find out what happened. You waited a few minutes till the nurse left you before heading to the main desk in the burn unit to find out what happened.

"Excuse me? I need information on a patient." You stopped at the desk.

The nurse nodded, "ok, who may that be?"

"Frederick Chilton."

She typed it in, "I can't give out information about his care unless your next of kin." 

You showed her your I'd and she matched it to his file for next of kin before moving on, "he has third degree burns over his head and upper chest, a little down his right arm. The rest is mostly second and first degree burns. He is missing his lips as well."

You looked sick and she continued, "we are treating the burns with oil baths and skin grafts. He did qualify for a special treatment of synthetic skin grafts, as of right now they are working on a skin graft/surgery for his lips."

"Thank you.... Is there anyway I can talk to his doctor." 

"I'll see about that soon, if you wouldn't mind waiting."

You nodded and sat down, waiting g for a hour before a nurse lead you back. Freddy was in a air chamber bed with a towel wrapped around his waist, you put your hand on the glass as his eye slowly opened to look at you. He raised his hand slowly and winced at the pain as he placed it against the glass covering yours.

"I love you Freddy."

"I love you too darling." He blinked and dropped his hand as the doctor came in.

 "Mrs. Chilton?" He stopped as you shook your head.

"(L)n). Only engaged not married." You took the offered seat by the air chamber.

"The nurse told you the basics, I'm here to explain the plan to both of you." You nod and he sighed, "the burns are deep, fourth degree in spots, so we already started skin grafts and synthetic skin grafts to help save his body. We'll start with that and the lips before moving on to hormones replacement and hopefully we can fix the skin and hair cells and get you back to full potential. Since most the damage is to the head and chest, it will be harder and more complicated... Longer rest time as well."

"How long?" She whispered afraid of the answer.

"Estimating a year or close to it. He'll have alot of therapy and precautions to take during and after." He shifted, "he will be spending alot of time sleeping to help regenerate cells, maybe even a medical coma for a short time to jumpstart the process."

"Thank you." You sighed and looked over to Freddy in the glass as he looked like he was going to cry.

"I'll leave you two alone." The doctors left you two alone in the room, silence driving you crazy.

"Go hone and rest darling." Freddy forced out as you looked over.

"No. Not until I have too." You leaned against the glass, "I'm not leaving you all alone."

"I'll re rine." He tried, "you need conrert."

"I'm comfortable with you. At home I'm alone in a big house.... Please just sleep. I'll leave in a few hours." You watched him attempt to nod.

You fell asleep, leaning on the glass. He watched you sleep and even lifted his hand slightly to rest it by your hair that fell in your face. He looked down to your well hidden bump, no matter how small it was he longed to rub it. To kiss you and whisper to the baby growing inside you.  _ **Why? I should've listened.... She warned me. She told me not to.**_ His tear ducts were burnt like the rest of him, or else he would be swimming in tears. But he couldn't, so he lies in the air chamber watching her sleep like a angel, refusing to leave his side.  _ **I couldn't love you more right now darling... You loved the beast before, and barely acknowledge the monster I am now.**_

When it came time to leave, forced out by simple visiting hours, you left with a kiss on the glass and a small picture taped to the outside. Freddy had been asleep when you left, so he woke up sadden at you missing. He caught the time and could guess what happened, and that when he saw it. A small black and white picture taped to the outside, his eye looked closely from where he laid.  _ **Is that... Is it....  Mine? My baby, she left this for me.**_ His eye was glued to the ultrasound photo of the little baby in your tummy. He rested his hand on it and stroked the glass softly through the pain, like it was her belly and he could see it inside. You had finally took his words to heart and went home to sleep in comfort. But he didn't feel alone, Everytime he looked at the photo he wasn't alone.  _ **I am going to be there for you. Both of you. You aren't raise him or her alone, you will never be alone. I will get my happy family. We will be a happy family.**_

That was his new motivation, he was going to be there for the birth. He was going to hold his child. He was going to play with his child. He was going to watch him/her grow up. He was going to grow old with you and be happy. No matter how much he will have to fight, he was going to do it. He had a family he need to feel again, to hold, to kiss. Not through glass, behind his ego, or with for thought of anyone else.... He couldn't care less about anything but you and the baby.

As if by miracle, a tear slid down his burnt cheek. He took a deep breath as another fell.  _ **Tears... I can cry?... I can get through this.**_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *sniffles* right In the feels on this one... Hope you enjoyed the chapter.


	8. We will be ok

It had been a week, and besides the first visit for information from will and Jack, no one else visited Freddy but you. Everyday, you would visit on your long lunch and sit with him where ever he was at the time. You two would chat about everything, you would chat about Ewen missing him and how she slept a lot more with you in the bed. How Dr. Bloom is running the hospital in his absence and how you hated it, not that you liked her so much to begin with. He talked about his treatment and the doctor would stop in to update you. 

The next few weeks were no different. Such as today, you woke up and got ready for work. A simple loose dress and flats, your hair pulled back. You got to work a few minutes early and went to your office area to snack on your small breakfast sandwich when bloom called you to her office instead. You went up instead of eating, ignoring your stomach pain. The whole way up you thought of how you usually loved to walk up there, now the walk was grim. You stepped in and bloom was sitting there, she motioned you to sit and you hid the eye roll before taking the seat.

"How's Frederick?"

 _ **Injured thanks to you.**_ "he's working to get better."

"I'm sorry for what Happened. It wasn't planned well." 

 _ **Of course not, that's why he's in the hospital.**_ "it wasn't your fault...."  ** _completely._** "....may I please finish my work."

"Please." She smiled as you left her office, holding back the urge to slam the door. 

You finished up most your work and gave yourself a extra half hour on you lunch break since it would be with Frederick. You ran to the hospital and walked back realizing you forgot your lunch.  _ **To late now, focus on Freddy.**_ You walked in to find him in the air chamber again. You sat down beside his tube.

"Hello Freddy, how you doing today?"

"Etter darling." He looked up, "you look eautiful."

"Thank you Freddy, you feeling better too." 

He nodded softly and told you to sit. You two had talked for half a hour and you were about to get a small amount of food when a knock drew both of yours attention. You turned your head to see Dr. Bloom standing there.

"How are you doing Frederick?" She stepped in and in that moment you snapped at her.

"What do you care? You used him."

You barely heard Frederick stop you, his hand against the glass to show his words rang true for him, "darling, you should eat."

You took the hint and walked out, giving Freddy his moment alone with Alana.

* * *

_**Frederick** _

* * *

"Dr. Loom. You finally roke down and cae to visit." He pushed for calm, trying to be civil, "Your face did not change at all when you first looked at ee. Shock, in seeing ee, is usually delayed."

"I wanted to see you, Frederick.  I wanted to remind myself what Hannibal is capable of." She approached the glass tube.

"What Hannial is capale of. What Will Graha is capale of. What you are capale of." He coughed, "You were the roper. Too ad there was not enough rope for you to hang yourself with. Just enough to hang ee.... Who does Will Grahan have you roping now?"

"Hannibal." She looked at him.

 He strained laughter, "Tethers, if I had then, I would urn the an alive. Though, aybe I would rather have his skin. I've been getting grafts." He closed his good eye, "How I would love to count Hannial among ey donors."

"You were never comfortable in your own skin, Frederick." She quipped, "You wouldn't be comfortable in Hannibal's."

He took a deep breath and sighed, "are you?" his eye opening to look at the woman.  _ **(y/n) was right... It was the wrong choice. You tricked me, played me like a fiddle after all I did to help. I guess I am the fool...**_

"So you cae to insult ee. As if I haven't aid the rice for heling?" He tried to snear, "just leave."

 She laid down a small bunch of flowers to the side and left the room. He laid there alone, his hand placed over the ultrasound photo as he tries to talk himself through this, eyes closed. _**You** **will make it through this. You are stronger then this.... You have a family now. You have a reason to survive this.... Think of (y/n). Your baby... You have to survive for them.**_ He opened his eyes to find you had came back in. You rested your hand against his, the photo and glass stopping them from touching.

"You'll be ok Freddy... You'll be ok." You smiled as he dropped his hand and adjusted for sleep.

"See you soon darling." He whispered.

"Soon." You replied back as you walked out and back to work.

* * *

  _ **You**_

* * *

 It was the big surgery day, Freddy was getting his lips. His skin far better then it was meant that he could have the surgery. It was a sign he was getting better, a sign he was going to be home sooner then the doctor had said. Freddy was prepped and was about to be wheeled out. He held your hand until they had to move him.  

You sat in his room alone, taking a deep breath as you thought about everything he is going through. You had took the day off work so you could sit there all day, the whole legnth of the surgery. You had missed breakfast and lunch, promising to eat once he went into surgery but you just couldn't. Your stomach hurt but wouldn't keep anything down until you were sure he would be ok. This was one of the big goals you both had, this would be the first milestone in his rehabilitation. 

After the first few hours you felt sick, a heavy nauseous feeling holding you down. You needed food bit didn't want to leave the room, you wanted to wait for Freddy. So as expected, a nurse checked on you every half hour.... And every half hour a nurse would stop to check on you. She would came in and seen your flushing skin.

"Ms... Are you ok?"

"Yeah." You tried to smile but got dizzy.

"Ms.... Ms.....have you ate today?" She dropped down in front of you and hit the call button on her small walkie talkie, "can I get a small food tray and a orange juice to room 319 ASAP."

"I'm fine..." You leaned forward and she pushed you back, "no your not. Do you have any medical issues?"

"No... Just pregnant."

"Okay stay awake for me. We need to get food in you so you don't get sick." She smiled as they brought the orange juice in, "drink up."

You nodded and drank the orange juice. She pulled over the small tray as they brought a food tray in. She watched to make sure you ate everything and checked you vitals, back up. 

"Ok your doing better now, just don't forget to eat....  For the baby."

"Thank you." 

 You did luckily fall asleep a short time later. Thought most of the tiredness came from not sleeping last night because you were worried sick. You thought about how the surgery could go wrong, the skin wouldn't heal... You seen Freddy as more a Frankenstein's monster and knew he wouldn't be able to live with it. You seen him going as far as moving away and starting a new life, just the three of you and Ewen. It was enough to keep you up all night. But with each bad thought came some good. What if it heals perfect and he looks the same? What if he's out by the birth? 

You could see it now, a baby girl being held in his arms. His smile as he calls her daddy's girl. Him crying when she goes to school for the first time. Her wanting to be a mermaid and Freddy softly suggesting something more practical. Or a baby boy that he couldn't put down. They would look like twins and he would take him to work and show him off when he could walk good. Freddy begging you to play the bad guy since he does it at work so much. 

You could see this amazing future, this perfect life.... If Freddy could make it through this.

* * *

_**Frederick** _

* * *

After Frederick was put under, his mind drifted. A beautiful baby was sitting on your lap as you laughed. You looked at him and motioned him over as a little boy and girl attacked him.

"Dad, can we go play!" They smiled as he chuckled and kissed her head and ruffled his hair.

He realsed them to play as you rolled your eyes and told them not to run. He sat down beside you on the bench and took the little boy in his arms as you kissed his cheek. 

"I love you Freddy teddy."

"I love you too darling, even with three kids to raise." He laughed at your giggle and red face.

"Your the reason I have three kids mister." You lightly punched his shoulder. 

The scene shifted, you sat by a crib in a rocking chair looking depressed. He walked in as you looked up shaking your head.

"Still has a fever.... We need to take him to the ER." 

"I'll get the keys." As he turned he seen a little girl frown and rub her eyes.

"Is bubby going to be ok?"

"Yes baby, he'll be fine. He's like his dad, resilient." He kissed her head before sending her to get dressed so they could go.

He turned around to a much brighter scene as he stood in the living room.He watched a baby crawling around in a diaper before standing up slowly. He shook his head and was about to leave when the baby walked to him and he picked it up. You came in smiling.

"He walked.... He walked to you. His first steps!" You kissed Freddy and pulled the boy to your arms, "oh my big boy! You want to go to work with daddy?"

He squealed and Freddy hug them both, "maybe tomorrow son."

Then everything just mushed together, small milestones all starting with him holding a baby. A girl walking around in a dress asking him to play with her. A boy breaking a lamp by accident and him helping hide the evidence before you came home to see it. Frederick reading to a baby as a little boy sat curled up to his side. Even at the bad moments, his teenage daughter crying because she was stood up. His son being suspended. His boy losing his scholarship to medical school because he didn't want to be a doctor like his 'old man'. Even the bad moments, he wanted all of it. He wanted a family, even if it was slightly broken, he wanted one. He wasn't going to let it slip away now.

* * *

_**You** _

* * *

You stirred awake, looking up to see a nurse Knocking. You nodded and she smiled.

"Ms. (L/n), the surgery is done. They are about to move him back in the room."

"Oh thank God." You sighed as she smiled.

"Have you had any food lately? I don't need you passing out again." She motioned you to follow so you did, "let's get you some food while they get him placed back in his room. Then you can come back....ok?"

"Thank you."

You followed her to the small cafeteria and ate just a little. A small sandwich and some chips, a large water. It had been about thirty minutes so you walked back to the room to find he was back in his air tube. You walked over and rested a hand on the glass as you looked in at him, the lips sitting perfectly against his skin. They almost looked like his old pair, you couldn't hold back the tear. 

 _ **Oh Freddy.... Your almost there. Your almost yourself again.**_ You longed to touch him, to hold his hand and kiss his cheek. And finally, you could see the chance of doing so again.  _ **We're almost there.**_

The doctor told you he would be out till tomorrow morning, so you decided it was best to go home. Sleep in a bed, cuddle with Ewen.... But sleep wasn't coming easy. So you went to plan B. You walked around the house and started planning for the baby and Frederick. Which room makes the best nursery? Would Freddy be able to take the steps easy enough to sleep in our room? He would be in physical therapy.... Should I make a small gym for him?

You walked through each room, planning it out. The new paint colors for the rooms, which room worked best for which purpose, where any remodeling would be needed. You looked out back and decided that maybe a small garden for veggies would be nice, Freddy could have fresh veggies. You looked at his mid-life crisis of a car and knew that would be going.... He would probably insist on it. ' _Something more practical for the baby'_ You could already hear it from his lips,  _ **Overly protective father.**_ You smiled at Ewen and carried her to the small library/sitting room. 

"Maybe we could repurpose this into his bed room? We have a bathroom just across the way and it's easily accessible." I pet under her chin like he always use too, "we could even get you a small bed or perch to keep daddy company."

She mewed at that, making you chuckle. You knew the bookcases could stay, but the chairs would have to be moved out. You walked down to the basement room beside the wine cellar and could immediately see a small gym for his physical therapy. _**Maybe the idea of what this room use to hold thanks to Hannibal could encourage him to push harder to heal himself.**_ You walked back up to the bed room and the small guest room to the side, obviously that would be the nursery. It would be perfect and just leave a few extra things down stairs in the living room for Freddy while you were away. A walker, small play pin.... Just the simple things so he could handle the baby without having to take those stairs so much.

With everything falling into place, you laid down in the bed and smiled as little feet pattered their way up to lay beside you on Freddy's pillow. Ewen stretched and adjusted the pillow to her liking, curling up and purring as she went to sleep.  _ **We can do this... We can get stronger from this. We'll be ok.**_ Your eyes flickered as you took a deep breath and fell asleep,  _ **We will be ok.**_

* * *

 After everything he went through, you wanted to make him feel better. You thought long and hard about it... You were ready and he would love it. Underneath all of it, he was still your Freddy. You made a quick stop on the way to the hospital, picking up a piece of paper. You hid it in your purse, a pen beside the envelope they gave it to you in... a perfect gift to brighten his spirits. You walked in and right to his room, you knew it by heart... 319. He was sitting in his bath when you walked in.

He smiled up at you, a week after getting his new lips and he was talking like nothing happened and his skin was almost matching. It had color now, not just char. At first you had been worried when the doctor went In to detail about his injuries, how his mouth prostatic was almost welded in his mouth. This meant he no longer could remove it, the body already started healing over it. You imagine he looked closer to the way he did before the bullet. His bullet wound was much softer against the new skin, almost unseen... just a small indent you wanted to stroke.  _ **I know these are good things, he's healing more then just the burns... But I don't want him to change to much. I still want my Freddy.**_

"Good morning darling." He smiled as I sat down in the chair beside the bath.

"Good morning Freddy. How's my teddy today?" 

 "Better now that you are here." He turned his chard hand over, palm up as you watched confused.

You haven't been able to hold his hand since the first day you came to visit, his skin need to heal more. The doctor and nurses warned you, you took it to heart. No touching, he needs to heal. He frowned as you stared at it.

"Doctors orders darling, or should I call in the other doctor for a second opinion?" He teased as you smiled and took his hand.

It didn't feel weird, not like you expected. It felt like a perfect match. Like our fingers slid into place so well and the skin was gentle but firm... It felt like two puzzle pieces falling into place. Your heart skipped a beat as he smiled. It felt like nothing happened, like you were whole again.

"Just one small milestone... A sign of progress." He smiled at you.

"Just one small step closer." You started to tear up.

This wasn't your plan for today, you expected him to be as he usually was resting. You were going to surprise him and make him feel better... And here he is, he made you feel better then ever. You wiped the tear away as he gave a soft chuckle.

"We will be ok darling, we'll make it through this."

"Oh Freddy, you have no clue." You smiled, "the other night, I had trouble sleeping. So I went through and through out a remodel that would work for all the changes. Where you would sleep because I'm sure our stairs would be to much or not. The nursery, a gym so you could rebuild your strength... Just small things and I realized something. Something just didn't feel right and I figured it out last night when me and Ewen were cuddled on the couch watching your favorite show."

You pulled out a small envelope and a piece of paper from it. You pulled your pen from your purse and sat it down on the small tray he had. He gave a curious look as you pushed it over so he could see, his good eye widening at the surprise.

"Is this..... This....?"

"A marriage certificate, yes it is." You smiled, "I know it sounded stupid when I first explained my hesitation on marriage.... And I know you said it was just a piece of paper but, I figured it was one piece of paper we needed."

"Darling... You don't need to..." You cut him off, "I want to. Something just didn't feel right and I figured out what it was... Besides you not being home."

"Are you sure?"

"More then ever Frederick." You smiled, "so let's sign our lives away to each other. Let's be happy."

He let a tear slip as his hand grasped the pen. He signed his name carefully and handed you the pen for you to sign. You finished it and sat the pen down.

"Mrs. (Y/n) Chilton.... I like the way it sounds."

He smiled as you reached over and wiped his tears away, "well my darling wife, I wish I could kiss you to seal the deal."

You looked towards the hallway and made sure no one was watching before leaning in, "just don't let them see, they might disapprove of your trial run with those lips."

You paused and let him lean forward just a little for the brief kiss. Why the taste was very different from his usual, the gentle touch still gave you goosebumps. His eye lit up, as you pulled back.

* * *

_**Frederick** _

* * *

Your lips still tastes sweet, the Expression of 'give me some sugar' never made since till now. After spending almost two months without being able to touch her, without lips even... It felt like a infinite euphoria in just that brief touch. His heart lost rhythm for mere seconds, his skin felt whole, his wounds imaginary.... He felt more alive then ever. All because your lips touched against his new ones, because you looked past disfigurements and horrors he so unfairly faced... Because you cared enough to stay through all of this, because you married him when he looked like a monster. If you were his Belle before, you were definitely his Esmeralda now. He was no longer just a beast, he was more a gruesome Quasimodo. And yet you sat beside him, still Loving him.

"Still as sweet as I remember." He whispered through his grin.

"I still feel the fireworks, still have that tingle when you touch me." You giggled, the sweetest sound he heard in what felt like years.

"I can't believe I finally married you, Mrs. Chilton." He felt the softest urge to kiss her again, pull her into the oil bath and kiss her like before everything went wrong.

"Love you hubby," you took his hand, "always will."


	9. Week by week

 While Freddy was slowly healing and getting back to himself the best he could in the burn unit, you and the baby were growing and visiting daily. You were getting close to having to say your pregnant, even buying maternity clothes to try to hide it a little better. As always, you came in on your lunch and sat with him talking.

"Darling, your looking so much bigger." He smiled from inside his air tube.

"Soon I'll have to tell everyone.... But not till after I tell you the gender." You kissed the glass where his hand laid.

"When is the appointment?" He frowned softly.

"Next week." You sighed, "I know you want to be there."

"Of course I do. I just want to be with you (y/n), I always want to be with you." He sighed, "at least we'll know gender and I can get a better photo."

"Yeah, it'll get better." You kissed the glass by where he sat his hand over the photo, "see you tomorrow. Love you Freddy teddy."

You leave for work, your heart racing trying to figure out what to do to make him feel better. Something that could cheer him up.

* * *

The next week, you walk in to see Freddy in his oil bath for a change, you walk in and turned into his eye sight as he smiled.

"Your showing darling.... The dress does nothing to hide your bump." He forced his lips into a smile.

"Well since I don't work today, I thought you would appreciate this." You smiled and sat beside him,.

He smiled and held out his hand, "beautiful.... Absolutely remarkable."

"You have to say that, I'm carrying your baby." You giggled and took his hand lightly, "I got you a few gifts. Close your eyes." He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, "good."

You sat the photo in his hand you had been holding. Smiling as he opened his eyes and you seen his face light up, you thought his monitor would flat line any minute.

"A girl.... We are having a girl." His lips curled up and he looked up needing her to confirm, "a girl.... A baby girl."

"Yeah. We are having a baby girl." You wiped a tear away, his excitement was over whelming to you, "a beautiful girl. Oh she'll look just like you."

"Hopefully a little like you too," you giggled, "just a little like my Freddy teddy."

He blinked back his wet eye, "a girl..... Our beautiful girl."

"Yeah Freddy, our beautiful girl." You took the photo back to tape it on his air chamber.

Next you pulled out tour phone, "I know I did this for you once before but, it's more profound now."

You played the babies heart beat, his face lighting up like a Christmas tree at the sound. You sat just right so his hand could rest on your belly, he could feel the small kicks and the heart beat booming from the phone speakers. He held your belly, enjoying every little movement he could feel.

"My girl... My baby girl." He whispered.

You sat like that till the nurse Interrupted, having to move him back to his chamber. You watched as they did so for the first time, the feeling off watching a guy towel off your husband like he was porcelain was odd, wanted to do it yourself looking at how uncomfortable he was with it. He was finally laid down and the male nurse moved your chair over by the air chamber for you, you thanked him and took your seat as he left. Freddy put his hand over the two pictures, a smile taking his face yet again.

"Oh darling, I think we'll be ok." He whispered and opened his eyes to you, "I think we can make it through this."

You kissed where the pictures sat his smile widening before jerking back down, "yeah... We'll be ok."

Later that week, you sat beside Freddy in his air chamber. You had dozed off, smiling in your sleep. His hand rested where your head was, longing to touch you again. It was a long time waiting, right about lunch we had guests. Will and jack walked in the room, seeing you brought a heavy guilt with it. Then they noticed the bump, it demanded attention. You stirred awake and noticed them, looking angry.

"Now you visit... a month later you come back to see your mess." You growled as you stood up.

"Ms. (L/n), we didn't attended on..."

"It's mrs. Chilton, and you used him. You needed a patsy and you failed to see he was human.... he has a life!"

"We didn't..." Jack started only to be cut off.

"You didn't think it through or you set him up, either way you failed jack." Venom dripped in your voice as you looked at freddy, clearly trying to calm down.

"We came to apologize," will added.

"For what? Almost killing him? Maming him? Ripping our family apart when we finally have some joy?" You snapped, "I'm going through a pregnancy without my husband and the father because you didn't think!"

Frederick put his hand on the glass over the photo to get your attention, he pleaded silently for you to let it go. You nodded and left the room, unable to stay strong in that moment. Freddy wanted you to be like that, when he can't be there to hold you and calm you... you needed to calm down so you could stand to sit in their, for freddy. _**It's all for freddy right now.**_ A few deep breaths and you were stepping back in, walking to the chamber and watching as niether man could look at you, as you looked over and sat by Freddy. Your bump poorly hidden under your maternity dress, you knew they were feeling guilty. Part of you wondered if will could look at the crime scene and feel Frederick's pain, or at your house before you cleaned and feel the sadness or the lonelyness.... The good awful lonelyness from having to be alone during pregnancy. 

* * *

_**Frederick**_

* * *

Freddy looked at you before turning towards the two men. Will graham that he had once described as a 'cocktail of disorders', he seemed overwhelmingly guilty. He just couldn't tell if it was from injuring him or for (y/n)'s situation. Jack looked guilty in a different way, like he was guilted into this visit and everything just got worse. He caught his eye and watched as he straightened.

"We're sorry for your injuries Dr. Chilton." Jack straightened, "the FBI will be handleing all your medical bills."

"You sound sorry, " he mumbled, "you both set me up. You took a risky chance and set me up for the fall."

"We didn't know..." Jack was cut off.

"You put your hand on my shoulder. You knew what you were doing." Frederick hissed towards will.

Both men left the room after that, unable to find words as Frederick fired back. The venom in his voice showing this wasn't easily forgotten, that this was clearly a wasn't simple thing. His heart rate escelarate and he felt the same rage he had during his panic attacks he couldn't control and the violence he went to when the realization hit him on his previous injuries and his life's drastic changes he wasn't ok with. He felt sick. He tried to calm down and looked to see your worried face. You lifted your hand to the glass and he covered it, the glass between them feeling miles thick.

"Are you ok Freddy?"

"Yes darling, I am good." He smiles, "I'm good."

You nodded and rested against the glass, falling asleep as he tried to feel your perfect locks through the glass... He needed to touch you again. You were changing without him and he feared what he knew would happen.  _ **she's changing.... Growing... Without me. What if she finds a better man? A good man that isn't a monster. Someone she could walk in public with without looks, someone that can hold and carry her, someone that could raise a child..... Someone more of a man.**_ He stroked the glass and watched you sleep. When you left that day, he begged good to let you stay with him. He needed you, needed the family.

* * *

_**You** _

* * *

 Another week went by, no visitors after your little meltdown on will and jack. They set up a trap and split the bait. They did this to Freddy and you weren't afraid to tell them so anymore.  _ **Now just to get Dr. Bloom, she deserves it the worst after her little chat with Freddy.**_

You came in on your break as usual, wearing a perfectly fitted dress to show off your bump since everyone knew now. You were at least twenty weeks at this point, you had to spill before you couldn't hide it anymore.  _ **Maybe they aren't the worse... Give will his secluded home and dogs with his family and let him be happy away from everyone... Jack needs to move on. He needs to get out of his head and morn his wife.**_

You sat down beside Freddy in his tub. He took your hand and smiled, you seen him look like his old self for a moment.... It was beautiful. You smiled for a second, you forgot everything that had Happened... Then it came back. 

"Darling, you are absolutely beautiful."

"As are you... My beast." You squeezed his hand, "my gorgeous beast."

"I don't deserve you." He whispers, "your to good for me." 

"I disagree. You my be brilliant, an author, and a published doctor.... You might be too good for me."

He scuffed and leaned his head to the left taking you in, "I'm a fool dressed in nice suits. Just some Patsy."

"Stop Freddy, don't do that."

"It's the truth."

"It's a truth.... Not my truth." You squeezed his hand, "don't Freddy."

"I love you." He smiled.

"Love you too." You smiled. 

As the day neared it's end, you left for home. Returning to the empty king size bed... You slowly stripped down and laid under the covers. A new habit since pregnancy started, the constant hot flashes. You drifted to sleep, wishing he was there beside you.

* * *

Next few days go by without issue, as the next week starts, you break. You were at work when you were called to blooms office. The whole way up you were holding back any words that came to mind. Bloom hadn't talked to you since she kicked Freddy while he was down. Saying he wasn't comfortable in his own skin was bad enough, but Freddy explaining she talked him into the interview was enough for you to murder her. 

You entered her office and sat down, your back throbbing from the walk up. She smiled and leaned forward.

"First off, congratulations on the baby."

"Thank you." You bit back a insult.

"Second off, congratulations on the marriage." You just glared as she finished, "third, how is Frederick?"

"Better before you visited. How dare you say any of that to him..... And tricking him into that interview. Your a bitch." You didn't even filter your words.

"I'm sorry you feel that wa..."

"It's the truth. You refused to do it because you knew it was a bad idea. You didn't want to risk your family..... But you didn't think about him. About his family..... About the people that love him. Hell you never even talk to him about anything that isn't work or Hannibal!" You stood up, "you never even thought about anyone but yourself!"

"I did what was best." 

"No... You did what you wanted. He hasn't went through enough so you threw this at him to. Now he's in a hospital struggling to get through his newest torture from the whole crew.... You three are worst then Hannibal." You went to walk out.

"(Y/n)..."

"Don't use my name. You have the right! You have done nothing but belittle me and play the nice girl until you see him. I won't pretend to be civil if all you do is stab him in the back." You opened the door, "it's Mrs. Chilton to you... Now stop calling me in for chats. Some people actually work."

You slammed the door and watched her two assistants look down as you walked past.  _ **You might run this hospital but that doesn't mean I have to take your shit. I wish Hannibal would go after you again Dr. Bloom.... I wish he would remove your thorny pain from my side.**_


	10. Recovery and deliveries

You were bursting at the seems, at 36 weeks you were ready for a baby at any moment. You had set up the nursery alone, changing the downstairs guest room into a care area for Freddy when he would get home. They said it would be about a year's time if he made it. So far he had shown nothing but progress, and after the lip transplant and synthetic skin treatments where the grafts failed to hold, he was looking better. He didn't have to stay in the damn glass tube all the time, he even was able to hold your hand without unbareable pain. He would sit in the oil bath and hold your hand, apologizing for not being present for the birth but promising he wouldn't miss the child growing up. He promised in no more then a year from now, he would be home with you and the baby... And get to pet Ewen in what felt like forever. He missed his cat, and if it weren't for a very strict nurse that watched you closely after your small fainting mistake, you would have snuck her in to see her daddy because you know she misses him too.

You still worked, but you mainly sat at your desk and talked to your employees around paperwork. They would ask how Freddy was doing, want to feel your belly, and always ask gender since you decided not to tell anyone but Freddy. Dr. Bloom stopped with your little chats and made no effort to talk to you at all, much to your enjoyment. And just like with Freddy, somehow part of your twos chat made it into hospital gossip. So far, you were looking like a god. As always on lunch, you would go visit Freddy and he would smile as you talked about how things were going.... But mostly it was about the baby and future plans.

"She's a strong kicker." You smiled, "i think she's gonna be a fighter like her dad."

"Or her mom. I mean you have went through a whole pregnancy alone." He kissed your hand as you blushed.

"I wasn't alone Freddy, you were there."

"Not the whole time. I feel worthless right now... I can't hold you, i can't really kiss you... I feel like a bystander watching a single mother." He frowned, "I'm feeling like I'm a failure."

"Oh Freddy, stop thinking like that. Sure you weren't home with me, or running around work catering to me after i told you not to worry about it... But you aren't a failure. You'll still be a amazing dad and she will know who her daddy is. She'll be proud of her daddy." You squeezed his hand, "she'll be just as strong as her dad."

He gave a forced smile, the pain of knowing  the truth was just to depressing. You felt so bad, but the greatest thing happened at that moment...  A kick. Freddy has yet to feel a kick due to you limited time with him. You let go of his hand as his face dropped, you moved it to your belly and smiled as his face lit up.

"She..." He left a huge pause as his lips curled up.

"Kicked." you finished.

"My girl." He whispered as you scooted closer.

"Talk to her... Let her hear her daddy."

"Hello princess.... This is your daddy talking. I'm a little under the weather right now but soon enough after you come out, I'll be there for you. I'll hold you and wipe away your tears. I'll be there whenever you need me." He smiled, "i love you little one, i can't wait to meet you."

You sniffled and wiped a tear as he looked up, "you'll love your dad as much as i do little one."

You glanced at the clock and frowned, your lunch was Almost over. You stood slowly and took Freddy's hand.

"I'll see you tomorrow Freddy," you sighed, "i love you."

"Love you too darling." He kissed your hand and let you walk away, watching you leave with a small smile on your face.

The whole way out you thought about how hurt Freddy was at the idea of not being there for the birth. You wanted to do something to remedy the situation, to cheer him up. So on the way back to work, you started scheming.

* * *

As the days went on, you found it harder to do many things. You wore sandals and slip on shoes because you can't tie your shoes, you wore mostly dresses due to the incredibly hard time you have getting dressed....  Since the house is finished, you hired a midwife to help you along till birth. She assisted you when you were home alone, a little more of a personal assistant but she apparently didn't mind with how much you paid. She gave you tips on the easiest way through cramps or cravings, she would help you get dressed when you need help, and definitely was there to help when you felt overwhelmed. There was a few nights when she stayed over so you didn't feel alone, she would just talk to you and tell you that everything would be ok. She even helped pack your go bags and had them placed in your car so you would always be ready.

Today, was one of those days. You had a weird pain and you didn't work so you just went to see Freddy. But before you could get out the door, it hit hard. You pressed your side and let out a small scream. Your head pounding and heart racing as you dialed 911, waiting only a minute before hearing a voice.

"911 what is your emergency?"

"I think I'm going into labor." You gasped as the second wave hit, "my water just broke."

"Ma'am stay on the line. I'm sending a squad right over."

You sat half out of the car, the go bag packed beside your foot ready to go as you tried to steady your breathing.  _ **breath.... Just breath. Everything will go to plan, just focus on you and they will do the rest.**_ You winced as you finally heard the siren, a squad pulling in as you waved them over.

"Ma'am, how far along are you?"

"About 37 weeks."

"And the contractions?"

"A few minutes." You winced as they helped you onto the stretcher.

"This your bag?" He asked and tossed it to the side when you nodded, "ok we are taking you to the closest...."

You quickly told them the hospital Freddy was at. It was only a few minutes farther away but you had insisted on it. They rushed by and radioed ahead for everything to be prepped. When the ambulance stopped and they rolled you in, you grabbed a nurse and whispered in her ear. She frowned but nodded and went the opposite way to the main desk, returning only a few minutes later as they got you adjusted on the bed.

"Ok Mrs. Chilton, your doing good. Keep up the breathing." The doctor encouraged.

You closed your eyes and focused on the breathing, thinking about the baby that was about to come out. You were frightened, in pain, happy, sad.... A complete mess and wishing Freddy was here to help. It was becoming to much when you heard the door open and peeked through your lashes. As you had arranged a few weeks ago, one of the nurses in the burn ward had brought Freddy in. He was in scrubs in the wheelchair, but it was definitely him. She pulled him up beside you and he took your hand, even through the gloves... You felt him.

"Your doing great darling."

Hearing his voice filled your heart with warmth.

"Just breath. In and out darling."

You squeezed his hand as you turned to look at him. After everything that happened, he still looked beautiful to you. He sat next to you still, coaching you through labor as you felt a pain worse then anything before. He kissed your hand through the mask as he repeated his words, though it sounded more for himself then you.

"Ok, we have dilation... We need you to start pushing Mrs. Chilton."

You nodded as Frederick leaned in closer, "push....  You can do it love. Come on."

You pushed and threw your head back, a soft cry escaping as he squeezed your hand, "hey look at me. Focus on me. Let my voice guide you."

You felt a strange calm when he talked, it was soothing as you did what he said. You blocked out the thoughts of if he weren't here, of how bad he would've felt for missing this.... You needed to be in the moment, and the moment was with him. Before you could say another word, it happened. You had pushed out the head, a soft cry filling the room as you and Frederick both smiled. At least you assumed he smiled.

"Mr. and Mrs. Chilton, here's your beautiful girl." A nurse had wiped her up a little and handed her towards you.

You shook your head and she handed her to Freddy instead, his face of shock as she helped him hold her. He started to cry a little, just a tear before she took her back to have her washed up. He looked to you and smiled, taking your hand again.

"You did all this... Didn't you darling?"

* * *

_**Frederick** _

* * *

"You did all this... Didn't you darling?" 

He watched you nodded as they cleaned you up, before moving both of you to a post-op room. He smiled as he took off the mask and hat, his ever so short hair finally growing out for him to look somewhat like he use to. 

"I didn't think it was right for you to miss it. She's your daughter, you should be there." You teared up a little, "I'm just lucky that the staff is so nice here."

"Thank you." He took your hand, "thank you darling."

"Oh Freddy, you knew i would." You smiled at him, "so... How does it feel to be a dad?"

_**Wonderful, amazing, Like everything i never knew i wanted..... And that only with her first breath and a brief hold in my arms.** _

"perfect... I can't believe she's finally here."

You laughed softly as he kissed your hand, "i promise she is... I felt the whole thing."

The moment was interrupted by the nurse rolling in a small basket. Swaddled inside in a little pink blanket was the baby girl. She lifted her up and handed her to you as Freddy watched with a smile. You held her like a mother, without hesitation, brushing back the blanket a little so he could see her as well. She had dark hair, like her dad, already on her head. Her small nose remind him of her mother's, the way you always crinkled it up to make a face at him. Her sleepy half yawn/half cry was a mix of both of the parents. He smiled and lifted his hand to rest on the edge of the blanket when her little hand came out from the tight cloth only to grab his large finger wrapped in gloves still. He felt the tear roll down his cheek as you smiled down at him. 

"What name do you bestow to this beautiful girl?" The nurse smiled as she uncapped a marker to write it on her basket.

You looked at Frederick, he smiled back, "Clarice. Clarice Chilton." 

"Our little Claire." You sniffled.

"Perfect name. I'll give you three a moment before we need to take her back and take you to your room." She nodded and left.

"Well... Happy birthday Claire. Welcome to the family." You looked down to Freddy who smiled as he whispered, "and hopefully you'll get your mother's beauty."

* * *

It was a little over a week later, a nurse came in as you sat with Frederick in his room, the baby in her small basket beside you in your chair. She smiled and knocked to gain everyone's attention.

"Mrs. Chilton, your ride is here."

You frowned a little before picking up Claire and holding her to your chest, "say goodbye to daddy, you'll see him soon enough."

Claire gave a little squeal as Freddy smiled, a doctor stopping you by the door, "one second. I have some important news."

Frederick turned to look at the doctor as you stood holding Claire.

"Mr. Chilton, you are officially in rehab starting Friday. You get to go home."

The room went silent, crickets chirping loudly as you both suddenly felt a new rush of happiness. You looked at Frederick and smiled as he smiled back.

"Goodnight darling... Have a good first night with the baby, and I'll be home soon to help."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully by the end of today i will have the first chapter of the next story up.


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